Downward Spiral

Until all I know comes rushing up

Photo by Joseph Frank on Unsplash

Pain claims more membranes
trying to maintain the glide plane,

I slide, straining to claim
this retried refrain,

I lied by omission, relied on intuition,

I hide in superposition,
derived from superstition,
I knock on wood,

act shocked when it does no good,
locked in freefall and misunderstood,

and I drop another rung and swerve,
hung in conservation of
an energetic stall

as I fall into denser,
turbulent conversation
with pride over it all,

I ride kinetic eddies,
and I glide, frenetic, unsteady,
yielding to gravimetric slide,

and I wish that I was ready
for how I got this high

as synergetic blissful far cry
sputters and surrenders

to what once got me by
on a wink-and-bank rendered, I

evade and flyby, my core
lurching beneath scores of
soaring butterflies

– a parade of gut-feelings
that topples upon departing flight,
left teetering and reeling,

accelerating at vertigo,
increasing speed by going slow

until all I know comes rushing up,
and I swear I’ll give this rushing up,

and I swear I’ll never drink again
as I take another swig from entropy

as this drag of weed
bleeds off my speed,
tripping-up my short-term memory,

but somehow I still recall
where I was well before the fall

as I crash-out, cashing-out
what’s left of my stash, clout

keeping me a narrow squeak
above salt and sea

just before the splash,
returning to me

as I look back up and see
spiraling vortices…

leading far above, beyond those
stratospheres of where I’d been

– should I lay on this sea floor
overladen in fears,

or begin again
for those distant shores, I

can’t pretend anymore, I know

I don’t have a say
in how far I get to go

– I just know I’m on my way,
and I just know I’m on my way…

© BJ Dawson — 2025

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Musical selection: Doechii - DEATH ROLL (Audio)

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Barry’s new chapbook, jagged remnants of you, is available for global distribution, and can be purchased on Amazon, on Lulu in paperback and eBook, and soon, wherever books are sold.

Tips are always welcome.

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